The Great Race
by Jess Maximoff
Summary: When Raven AKA Mystique agrees to compete against Victor AKA Sabretooth in a 5K race to raise money for Todd's school, Pietro insists on coaching her to victory. Meanwhile, John AKA Pyro tries to teach Kitty to cook.
1. Chapter 1

Todd was laying on his side in the couch, watching TV.

Raven just came home from work. She opened the door and said,

"Hey, I'm home."

Todd just kept watching TV.

"Why do I always think that's going to be big news?"

Raven hung up her coat and purse on the rack.

"Todd, what did I tell you about benching in front of the TV?"

Todd sat up. "It's an educational show, yo."

Raven saw what he was watching.

"Todd, you're poor. You're not gonna bye real estate with no money down. Now shut it off."

"Man! It's like you don't want me to get rich!" He turned the TV off. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Did you ask the neighbors about signing up for your school's 5K run?"

"No one's gonna wanna run in race," said Todd. "Races are dumb."

"No, they're not," said Raven. "Victor and I used to run 5Ks all the time. They're fun and exciting."

"Mystique, running isn't fun. It's what you do to get away from bullies."

Todd hopped out of the family room. Wanda and Pietro walked in.

"Hey, Mystique," said Wanda. "How was your day?"

"Oh, busier then a woodpecker in a lumber yard," said Raven, sitting in a chair, reading a magazine.

"Cool. What's for dinner?"

Raven frowned. "Wanda, I just walked in the door."

"And she asked you what's for dinner," said Pietro. "What's with the recap?"

Raven used the magazine to slap him knee.

"I already have a job." Raven got up and walked around. "And I'm sick of my second one being your chef, cook, maid, and chauffeur. It would be nice if I had some time to do something nice for me. Like take a bubble bath. In a big tub. In Europe."

The twins didn't respond to that.

Todd walked back in holding a clip-board.

"So what am I supposed to say to get people to get them to sign up for this dumb race?"

"Just tell them how fun running is," said Raven.

"They won't believe me."

"Sure they will. You have an honest face." She held his face in her hand then let go. "Just smile when you say it."

"Okay." He smiled, but it didn't look honest or convincing. Neither was the tone he used. "Mystique, will you sign up for my fun race?"

The twins smirked and Raven was holding in a laugh.

"Oh, you are so busted," said Pietro.

"Todd, Mystique doesn't run anymore," said Wanda.

"She's right," said Raven, signing up. "I don't. I cook and I clean. And I fall asleep watching the ten o'clock news. But tonight, I'm going to take a bubble bath. And in the morning, I'm gonna start running again."

Raven went up the stairs.

"At a girl," said Pietro. "Ha-ha. We're never gonna get dinner, are we?" he asked Wanda.

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That's the first chapter.

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	2. Chapter 2

Kitty was in the kitchen at the Brotherhood house. Raven walked in.

"Kitty? What are you doing here?" asked Raven.

"I was talking to Lance on the phone all night and he, like, said he and the rest of the Brotherhood was starving 'cause no one was, like, cooking anything," said Kitty. "So I decided to come help out around here and cook. I'm baking a cake. Uh, Mystique, where do you keep the dextrose sucrose?" asked Kitty, read the cake box.

Raven stared at the clueless valley girl. "Kitty, that's an instant cake mix. You're reading the ingredients. Just add water."

"Oh. This is going to be easy!" Kitty squealed in delight.

Raven sighed. "Kitty, I appreciate your help, but I don't think it's a good idea with you baking. For one thing, I don't know if we have the insurance."

The door bell rang.

"Don't worry," said Kitty. "I got someone coming over to help."

John came in wearing chef clothing and some bags in his arms.

"Hey there, culinary cutie," said John.

Raven stared at the boy.

John put the bags on the counter.

"Ya know," said John. "Pretty soon, when people ask "What's cooking?" you can say "I am."."

He and Kitty giggled. John looked at Raven with a big grin on his face.

"Is there anything you won't wear?" Raven asked him.

He had on a chefs hat and a white apron with big red kissy lips on it.

John just grinned.

Rogue walked in.

"Hey, guys."

"Hey," said Raven.

"Rogue, you silly," said John. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming over?" He took her gloved hand and swung their arms back and forth. "We could've walked together."

'Amara really likes this guy?' "Somethings I don't know what's wrong with me," Rogue answered.

She walked over to her step mom.

"Hey, sweetie, did you need something?" asked Raven.

"No. I just came to see the cooking show. So what's with the outfit?" She noticed Raven was in sweats.

"Oh I'm getting in shape for the school's 5K run. Hey, you know what. You should do it with me."

Rogue gasped and sarcastically said, "You mean run through town all sweaty with my mom? Finally I'll be popular."

Raven patted her shoulder and left the kitchen.

"Okay," said John. "For our first lesson, we are going to take a little trip to Italy. Will Kitty be making spaghetti? I wouldn't put it pasta."

He and Kitty laughed while Rogue didn't.

Living Room

"Hey, Raven," said Pietro, coming down the stairs. "I was checking out the entry form for the race and this is the perfect year for you to run in it." He showed her the clip board. "See you're moving into a new age category. The 42 to 49 group. You're the youngest of the old people!"

Raven's response to that was, "You may never get dinner again."

"No, see non of the other people in your group can run a 5K in under twenty-four minutes. You can kick these geezer butts!"

"Pietro, it's not about winning. That's the way Victor ruined it for me. He was so competitive."

"Really? What would he do?"

"He wouldn't talk to the other runners. He's elbow people on turn. He even talked trash to me. He used to call me Lead Feet."

"Kitty is doing really well," said John. "But just for the heck of it, do you have a fire extinguisher?"

Pietro and Raven ran over quickly.

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	3. Chapter 3

"Stir the sauce," said John.

"So what happened then, Kitty?" asked Rogue.

Kitty moved from the sauce to tell Rogue what happened at the mall.

"And so I say to the sales woman, "Yeah, those pants are low, but they're are last years low and I want this years low."," said Kitty.

"Stir the sauce," repeated John.

Kitty went back to stirring the sauce.

Rogue smiled. She was enjoying this.

"The sales woman said that?"

"Oh yeah," said Kitty, once again forgetting the pasta sauce. "And she gives me this, like, attitude. You know, that's she's the sales woman she knows what this year's low is."

"Stirrrrrrrrrrrrrrr," said John, moving Kitty back to the sauce.

"So what did you do?" asked Rogue.

"Oh, this is so great," said Kitty.

The whole time John was looking at the sauce with worry and he'd make these faces every time Kitty left the sauce.

"And I say really nicely, you know, my, like, fake nice voice. 'Um, excuse me. Is there anyway I can speak with the manager?'"

"It's burning," said John.

"And she says to me-"

"STIR THE SAUCE, KITTY!"

Rogue smirked.

"And so the manager-" said Kitty, stirring the pasta.

"That's the pasta. The sauce," John almost wept.

Kitty went to stirring the sauce.

"And so the manager-"

"Stir, stir, don't talk, just stir!"

Kitty stared at him.

"You know what," said John. "We're done. Okay." He turned off the stove. "There's only so much you can do to food till it just gives up, ya know, mate."

"That was so easy!" said Kitty, happy. "So much for italiano." She took off the apron. "I can't wait to see what we're going to cook tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" said John, scared.

"Yeah. Ciao, John."

John pretended to be his happy self and laughed.

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	4. Chapter 4

"Back from your run, huh," said Pietro.

"Yeah," said Raven, wiping her sweat with a towel. "It was great."

"No it wasn't. It was pathetic."

Raven glared at him. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I saw you from the porch."

"Yeah."

"This is you."

Pietro imitated how she ran. He took quick baby steps and a tiny bit.

"I don't run like that," laughed Raven.

He looked funny doing that.

"Raven, if you have any chance of winning this thing, you need me to take over your training immediately."

"Would you stop," said Raven, lightly hitting him with her towel. "I don't care about winning. I told you."

"Oh, come on," said Pietro. "We'll hit the streets tomorrow at 6:00 AM and come back here for stretching and core training."

"Six AM?"

"Oh yeah."

"Let me think about that. No!"

Pietro sat down.

"Listen to me loud and clear. I am not competitive." She sat down.

Todd came hopping into the house.

"I did it," he said. "I got someone else to sign up for the race."

"Who?" asked Raven.

"Well, well, well."

Raven frowned.

"It's just like the old day," said Victor. "Isn't it? Lead Feet." He smirked.

He went into the kitchen. Raven had a smile on her face, but not the happy kind.

"Make it 5:30," she said to Pietro. "I'm gonna go run again."

Pietro smiled.

Raven did that running Pietro claimed she did earlier.

He this look on his face when she did it.

She smiled and went running.

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	5. Chapter 5

Pietro was at the door with a timer.

"Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!" he shouted. "Come on! You almost at the finish line! Finish strong!"

Raven ran in and Pietro sit the stop button.

"How'd I do?" panted Raven. "What's my time?"

"Mnyick."

"Yick? What do you mean "Yick"? Don't say "Yick"."

"Okay. Bleh!"

That's didn't make Raven feel better.

"Dang it, Pietro! I tell you every morning I can't do 5K in twenty-four minutes! When are you going to believe me?"

"Well, I guess I'm have to today. 'Cause you ran it in twenty-three fifty!"

Raven squealed and gave Pietro a hug. They did a double high five and Pietro handed her the water bottle.

"I've never done that before! You know, I bet I could've even done it faster if I hadn't tripped over that trash can."

Victor walked in wearing black shoes with white socks. Black pants and a black, no sleeved shirt with some gray in it. He had a matching head-band around his head and he wore sunglasses.

Raven and Pietro stared at him. Raven with amusement and Pietro had a "What the heck?" kinda look on his face.

"Is there anything you won't wear?" asked Raven.

Victor took off the sunglasses. "You know, I was stretching out in the boss's driveway at the Acolyte Boarding House when I saw you run by, Raven. It's very impressive. You are definitely the one to beat. In the comedy division." He chuckled.

"Hu, hu, hu, hu, hu. Here it comes, Pietro," said Raven. "Don't start your trash talk with me, Victor."

"Yeah. Don't bring that garbage gab around here," said Pietro. "This is Raven's house and you will show respect."

"I'm just making conversation," said Victor.

"Well you're not very good at it."

"I'm doing this for me, Victor," said Raven. "I just want to enjoy running like I used to before you ruined it for me with your competitiveness."

"My competitiveness?"

"Uh-huh."

"Wait a minutes. You're the one who's up at the crack of dawn training with the track star."

"Training? You think we're tra-Pietro, he thinks we're training."

"Wha?" laughed Pietro. "Why? 'Cause we're both wearing sweats? Well maybe we're in the same dance company. Hmm."

Pietro did some dancing. Then he waved him arms in a "whatever" kind of way.

"You are every bit as competitive as I am, Raven," said Victor.

"'Fraid not," argued Raven.

"'Fraid so."

"'Fraid not."

"'Fraid so infinity."

Raven pointed her finger under him chin and glared.

"You only started to pretend you weren't when you realized you couldn't beat me," said Victor.

"Ha! Pardon my french, but hhhhhhhhhhhorse-feathers."

Raven walked to the door and Victor followed.

"Admit it. When I entered this race, you show it was your opportunity to finally beat me, but you forgot something. I always win."

"Well pardon my french," said Pietro. "Not zis time."

Raven nodded.

"And you know why I always win?" asked Victor.

"'Cause you're a gigantic butt?" said Raven.

"Oui, oui! Ha ha ha!" laughed Pietro.

Victor shook his head. "Nope. 'Cause you don't have that conquering spirit it takes to being a winner. Face it, Rave. You're just too nice."

"I'm fixing to nice you right upside the head. Now get out."

"Yeah. I'm goin', I'm goin'. I wanna try and get in a good 5K before work today. Yesterday I was kinda slow. Only ran twenty-two flat."

'Dang!' thought Raven and Pietro.

"You know, I forgot how much fun we used to have doing this," said Victor, smiling.

"I didn't," said Raven. "'Cause we didn't."

Victor ran off. Pietro said something to him in french.

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	6. Chapter 6

John and Kitty were in the kitchen. Kitty was trying to cut a chicken.

"Oh, this is, like, so disgusting!" she complained. "Oh this is so gross!" She almost threw up.

John had been drinking lots of wine. He was getting drunk.

"Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Gross! No! Mm-mmm! Nope!"

"Ya know," slurred John. "I used to work at a church summer camp when I was in high school back in Australia. Taught blind kids to cook."

Kitty stared at him.

"_Blind _kids. They just picked it right up." He snapped his fingers.

Kitty smelled something. "Is something burning?"

"Is something burning?" mimicked John. "It's the bread. Do you remember the bread?"

Kitty put on an oven-mitt.

"Do you remember I told you to take it out of the oven ten minutes ago?"

Kitty took out the bread, that was black and crispy, and put it on the counter.

"Poor bread," said John. "Poor innocent bread. It never had a chance." He took another sip of wine.

"I like crispy bread," said Kitty.

"Ya know, that's how my niece used to cook lazania when she was six years old. That's a true story."

John drank what was left in his glass. He took the wine bottle to pore more, but hardly anything came out.

"Oh, that's so sad," said John.

He stood up holding the glass.

"I gotta go home," he said to Kitty.

"John, are you sure you're okay?" asked Kitty.

"Ohzamombualapeh!"

Raven walked down the stairs and saw Kitty guiding a drunk John to the door.

"I'm just gonna help you, kay?" said Kitty.

"Raven!" exclaimed John. "Oh Raven, I tried. I swear I tried. I swear on everything that's precious and holy I tried."

"John," said Raven. "You're preaching to the choir. I've been there."

"Let's start a band."

She stared at him. "Definitely something to think about. Absolutely. Be careful on your way home."

"Come on, John," said Kitty.

"Ooooooo! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Look what I can do. Nnnnnnnowwwmmmmmmmm." John slowly put the glass in his mouth.

Raven stared.

"He did that once when it was full," said Kitty.

John nodded. "Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm." He pretended to play an electric guitar.

Kitty took him and herself home. Raven sat on the couch.

"Okay, Raven," said Pietro, walking in. "It's five PM. which means stretching on the patio. Let's go."

"Pass," said Raven.

"Raven, tomorrow's the race. We gotta stretch big time tonight."

"There's isn't going to be any race. Not for me, that is."

"You're quiting? Who are you, huh? Quity Quiterson from Quitsvile Quitland?"

"I can't beat him!"

"Who, Quity?"

"Victor. He was right. I do wanna beat him. I always did. He was also right about that other thing he said about me not having that conquering spirit thing. Let's face it, Pietro. I'm nice. And you know what they say about nice guys."

"You mean how they always finish last?"

Raven nodded. "I appreciate your help, but I'm out."

"Hey, I totally get it."

"Good." Raven headed for the stairs.

"You're a grown woman. It's your choice if you wanna act like a big baby."

Raven spun around fast to face him. "Knock it off! I don't feel like a winner!"

"Raven, listen to me for a minute," said Pietro. "Don't tell me what it feels like to be a winner. I've been an athlete my whole life. I know exactly what it feels like to cross the finish line or hit the jump shot at the buzzer. And let me tell you something. It's the greatest feeling in the world. Everybody chanting and cheering your name. Go, Tro! Tro! Tro is the man! Yeah."

Raven crossed her arms.

"Raven, your whole life is like that. You have conquered tons of stuff. Anything that life can throw at you and you keep going. You keep this family, yes family, going. But you do it so many little ways that maybe it doesn't feel like you're conquering anything. You know what you need? A crown following you around. Everytime you do the laundry, they do the wave. Everytime you make a pot roast, then chant. Raven! Raven! Raven is the man!"

Raven smiled. "Oh, Pietro, that's really sweet and very good idea. But it was nothing to dowith the race."

"It's got everything to do with the race! You can beat Victor! And when you do, you're gonna know that feeling I've been talking about! And the next time you don't feel like a winner, you'll know that you are."

". . . . Well what are you standing there for? We got some stretching to do!"

"Yeah!"

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	7. Chapter 7

Rogue and John walked into the Brotherhood Boarding House.

"How was the race?" asked kitty.

"Great," said Rogue. "If you like watching someone cheat."

"Oh now, Rogue, I don't think that was technically cheating," said John.

"Elbowing somebody in the face on a turn? Yeah I think it was, John."

"She's got you there," said Lance.

Victor, Raven, and Todd entered.

"I told you it was an accident," said Raven.

"Yeah, maybe the first time," said Victor, holding an ice pack on his right cheek.

"Oh my gosh," said Kitty. "Mystique beat Sabretooth."

"Oh, it's not about winning, Kitty. But if it were, yeah I kicked his butt."

Kitty gave Raven a high five.

"Celebration time!" cheered John. He went into the kitchen.

Pietro walked in. "Rogue, Todd, Lance, Kitty." He looked at Victor. "Loser."

Victor frowned.

"Louie Loser from Loservilve Losesiana."

"Hey there, coach," said Raven.

"Hey there, winner," said Pietro. "Winny Winnerson from Winnersvile-"

"Oh shut up, boy!" growled Victor.

"You may have lost, Sabretooth, but you sure were funny to watch," said Todd.

"Yeah, that's, that's what I was going for, kid."

Rogue, Todd, Lance, Kitty went into the kitchen.

"La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la," Pietro said really fast.

"Pietro," said Victor in a warning kind of voice.

Pietro headed for the kitchen. "La, la, la, la, la."

"Pietro."

"Loser." Pietro smirked and went into the kitchen.

"You know what's weird," said Raven. "Now I totally get why you tried so hard to win. It's a great feeling this kicking butt."

"Suddenly you seem to be a little more competitive," said Victor.

"Well it's more fun to be competitive when you're Winny Winnerson. But I'm the nice connective kind. Not you're psycho kind."

"Oh clearly." He held up the ice pack. "Yeah I could see you were having fun out there."

"How could you see that? With binoculars?"

Victor chuckled.

"Yeah, I did have fun. I always did enjoy running."

"Yeah, I know. Until I kinda ruined you ya."

"Victor, of all the things you ruined in my life, running is waaaaay down there."

"Well I'm glad I could give you back that feeling."

"Well thanks, but you didn't give it back. I took it."

"Okay."

"What's that mean? 'Okay.'."

"Nothing, nothing. Forget I said anything."

"Are you saying you weren't trying to win?"

"No. No, I tried. I just. I didn't try the way I usually try. you know, the gigantic butt way."

"Bull! You gave it all you had and you lost. Now I want you to say that in my face."

"Well, I can't honestly do that."

"Okay then. You know what? We're going to race again. Right now."

"Don't be ridicules."

"Right now. Down at the park and back. That's three miles."

"Yeah, which means I'd beat you by two. Shoot, you could take the car and I'd still beat you."

"Come on, big boy. Come one. Put up or shut up."

"Are you serious?" asked Victor.

"Yes," answered Raven.

"You want it, you got it. You are goin' down, Red."

"Okay, guys," said Kitty. "My special race day dinner will be ready in a few minutes. Just as soon as the meat stops boiling."

"Chance plans," said Raven. "We'll race down to the pizza place. Loser buys."

"Deal," said Victor. "And no elbowing in the face."

"Deal."

Raven elbowed him in the stomach and got a head start. Victor ran after her.

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The end!

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